


Cigarettes And Secrets

by ForiegnMoons



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/F, im sorry, it’s just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24415927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForiegnMoons/pseuds/ForiegnMoons
Summary: A pack of cigarettes, a secret, an old relationship and a broken heart.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	Cigarettes And Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello how are you? As your self proclaimed CEO of Crygi angst, I’m back to make everyone sad! This is literally just sad I’m sorry in advance!

1 WEEK AGO

“Hey Geege, who’s cigarettes are these?” 

Panic shot through Gigi Goode’s body when Crystal’s words called out to her. 

“Ah-I think they’re Widow’s from when she was her a couple days ago...” Gigi was thankful to be in another room because the alarm on her face and her wide eyes would’ve exposed her lie. Trepidation overcame her as her hands began to shake and she rifles through the blankets on the couch for her phone. Finally locating the device, she snatched it from the cushions and sprinted upstairs. 

‘Shit!’ She thought to herself, ‘Why is she so forgetful?!’ 

Crystal could sense something was off with her girlfriend but elected to leave it alone in favor of waiting for her to come out with it in her own time. Crystal trusted Gigi more than anyone else and besides, what’s the worst it could be? It’s just a pack of cigarettes after all. 

——~——

“Gigi! Time for dinner! I didn’t even burn it this time!” Crystal was bouncing around the kitchen laying out plates and forks around their table. Over the past week, Gigi has been constantly plagued by guilt, shame, and anxiety over her lie. Three nights ago she had made up her mind to tell Crystal the truth but it turned out to be much harder than she anticipated. She really truly had tried but the other woman was such a ray of sunshine that it was hard to interject a serious subject. 

“Crystal,”

“Look babe! I made pasta and I didn’t burn the noodles at all!”

“Crystal it’s important-“

“And I made a sauce too! It has tomatoes, carrots, a little bit of red pepper and I know you’re white but I need some flavor and a little bit of-“ 

“CRYSTAL!” Gigi has become exasperated with not being able to get a word in edgewise, and snapped. The red head’s face fell as she tilted her head like a scolded puppy. Gigi never yelled. Not at her, not at her family, not even at strangers who got too friendly with Crystal. Gigi gave a heavy sigh and shifted her weight back and forth on her feet. 

“Crystal I have something to tell you.”

“Ok what’s up Geege? Is everything ok? You look kinda nervous. I already know you love me so you don’t need to worry about that!” Crystal’s attempt at lightening the mood only served as a lunch in the gut to Gigi. Here was a woman who she had been with and loved for years, waiting to hear all her problems. And what was she? A liar, a cheater, a terrible person?

“Crystal you remember that pack of cigarettes you found in our room the other day?” Gigi’s voice was unsteady and cautious. Anxiety bubbled violently in her stomach as she desperately did everything she could to not make eye contact with her partner.

“Oh yeah Widow’s cigarettes? What about them?” 

“They didn’t belong to Widow.”

“Oh. If you started smoking you could’ve just told me I don’t know why you’re so nervous!” Crystal’s shining grin had returned but Gigi’s face was still cemented in anguish. 

“I didn’t start smoking Crys. They’re not mine and they’re not Widow’s. They’re Nicky’s....”. The brunette trailed off, tears welling up in her eyes and threatening to spill over. 

“Ok and? It’s just Nicky. You’ve been best friends forever you could’ve just said that. But why were they in our room....?” Crystal’s words faltered as a single tear slipped down Gigi’s pale cheek. “Gigi,” Crystal said, voice suddenly just as unsure and scared as Gigi’s was. “Why were Nicky’s cigarettes in our room?” 

Gigi wrung her hands and kept her head down. She knew if she looked up that she would loose any composure she had left. Crystal slammed her hands down on the table in an uncharacteristically aggressive manner. 

“Gigi tell me why they were in our room!” Her voice was steadily raising as more and more tears began to fall from Gigi’s pale blue eyes. “GIGI!” Crystal began yelling, “WHY WERE THEY THERE?! I KNOW YOU MNOW SO JUST TELL ME WHY THEY WERE THE-“

“BECAUSE I SLEPT WITH HER OK?! I SLEPT WITH NICKY AND I GUESS SHE LEFT HER CIGARETTES BEHIND AND YOU FOUND THEM! THERE! IM NOT PROUD OF IT OK BUT IT HAPPENED! Gigi’s screamed confession blanketed the house in silence. An astounded look flickered over Crystal’s face. It shifted swiftly from that to anger, hurt, confusion then back to hurt. Her brown eyes became heavy with tears as the realization set in. 

“Why...” Crystal’s normally happy disposition and chipper voice had shifted into a low whisper. “Why wasn’t I good enough for you...?” 

Gig felt her heart break as she watched Crystal crumple to the floor, barely keeping it together and shaking lightly. She reached out to take her girlfriend’s hand, but she yanked it back and scooted away from her. Gigi’s heart was twisted in another direction when she saw the act of rejection. Normally Crystal was always trying to cuddle or touch someone, especially when she was upset or hurt so for her to reject that was truly worrying.

“Crystal...it’s not that you weren’t good enough-“

“Oh really?” Crystal cut her off, “Cause from where I stand it certainly looks that way. And don’t come to me with some bullshit excuse that you were drunk or high because I know you weren’t, so tell me the truth. Why wasn’t I good enough? Is it because I’m not pretty like her?” Crystal’s voice broke as a sob clawed it’s way out of her throat. 

“Babe-“ 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Crystal, it’s not that you’re not good enough and it’s not because you’re not pretty enough...I don’t know why it happened it just did.” Gigi’s voice was hoarse from withholding tears as she watched Crystal shrink into herself more and more. 

“Really cause you and I both know she’s gorgeous. She’s a literal model for fucks sake of course she’s prettier than me! She’s probably smarter too since she was always ahed of even you in school. Plus she’s French so she’s cultured as fuck so I shouldn’t really be surprised. Actually it was only a matter of time before you slept with her. God I should’ve known you were too good to be true. It’s just never enough for you is it Gigi? Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you treated me in high school, once a player, always a player.”

Crystal’s harsh words were a slap in the face to Gigi. It was true, in high school she and Nicky had been horrible to Crystal. Crystal was loving enough to forgive both of them but even through their bullying of her when they were teens, Crystal had always been head over heels for Gigi. Nicky and Gigi has been on again off again all through high school and freshman year of college. Nicky eventually met another girl named Jaida, and broke things off with Gigi. Crystal ended up befriending Gigi when the girl showed up to her dorm looking for Crystal’s freshman year roommate Jan. Crystal, ever the sweetheart had brought her in and sobered her up. They became friends that night which was bittersweet for Crystal who wanted nothing more than to be with Gigi, but ended up not just in the friend zone but in a hard place as well. Night after night she watched Gigi go out and get drunk and take home random girls, trying to get over Nicky. Crystal always came to get her the next morning, and even though Gigi’s makeup was a mess and frequently she didn’t have all her clothes, she stayed silent about her friend’s habits. 

She ignored it as best she could until one night she became another victim of Gigi Goode’s charms. Before she knew what was happening, Gigi was going down on her and forcing moans from her lips. Crystal woke up to a cold half of the bed where the other woman had laid the night before. Three weeks later Nicky got bored and broke up with Jaida. She of course, came back to Gigi and fed her some shit about “it was a mistake, you’re my best friend!” Nicky’s charm and appeal was undeniable, so it made sense that Gigi was wrapped around her long fingers, in more ways than one. 

Eventually, the two called it quits for good and Crystal tended to an upset Gigi, which oddly enough, blossomed their relationship. Gigi has made up with Nicky and the two had been best friends again since then. That was three years ago and now, history began to repeat itself. 

Crystal’s words stung, not just because they were unfortunately true, but because they were coming from the person she loved most who was never one to say rude things. 

“Crystal...please. It was a mistake...” Gigi frantically began trying to repair what she could of their relationship but the look on Crystal’s face made it clear that it wasn’t going to happen. “Please Crystal! I love you! It was a mistake I swear! I would never try to hurt you”

“Oh really? Because you do a pretty good job at it Goode. You know, your name is ironic. Gigi Goode, but all you are for me is bad.”Crystal’s tears had stopped and her eyes no longer brimmed with sadness. All that was there now was anger. 

“Honestly I don’t care anymore why you slept with her but I hope it was worth it.” Crystal’s words were sharper than daggers and impaled Gigi over and over again. She regretted a lot of things in her life. Not talking to certain people, acting certain ways, but this was the worst. Gigi knee that as long as she lived, she would never regret something more than this. 

“Please Crystal...” Gigi’s pleading did nothing for her as her girlfriend slowly rose to her feet and looked her in the eye. Tears flowed endlessly down her face, smudging her makeup and making her look as much a mess as she felt. 

“Get out.” 

“No please Crys, let me make it up to you!”

“No.” Crystal’s answer was short, concise and definitive. “Get out of my house. You can come back and get your shit some other time, but for now, get out of my house. I don’t even know you.” 

Crystal’s final words crushed Gigi’s heart as she spun on her heels and bolted for the door. Grabbing her keys and helmet, she jammed the helmet over her head and fumbled the keys into the ignition of her motorbike. Crystal watched mournfully from the bay window of their dinning room as red tail lights disappeared into the night. Finally alone, she slumped over and let her sadness take over. Hysterical sobs racked her body and she lay on the floor. The cool hardwood floors did nothing to offset the heat coming from her body. 

From the counter, the pack of cigarettes looked over her, seemingly teasing her. She closed her eyes and let out a scream of pain. Without even realizing it she began throwing dishes at the counter, watching them splinter and shatter on the countertops. She grabbed the box of cigarettes and raised it to throw away. When she grabbed them, a wast of Nicky’s perfume fell over her. Lavender, leather and vanilla flooded her sinuses as she yelled again. 

She chucked the pack into the trash can and slammed the lid shut. Sadly she glanced over at the meal she had made for them. It was cold now and sat untouched but Crystal wasn’t really hungry anymore. Memories flashed in her mind of her and Gigi. Their first kiss, their first date, the time Crystal had broken her hand after getting too excited at a One Direction concert and Gigi drove her to the hospital. The first time they told each other they loved each other on a picnic at the beach two summers ago. Their one year anniversary, moving in together. Now all these memories were sullied by the fact that Nicky was in nearly all of them. 

Nicky has been the reason Gigi finally got the courage to ask Crystal out, leading Crystal to kiss Gigi on her motorbike outside the diner they went to. How Nicky, Jan and Jackie has been playing in the water at the picnic. When Nicky helped them move in together. Everywhere she looked she saw Nicky and Gigi. All the little touches, the flirty teasing, the hushed conversations and giggles. It all came rushing back to her in an instant and it nearly knocked the wind out of her lungs. 

She teetered over to the arm chair that faced the fireplace and sank down into it, body heavy with sorrow. Despite her best attempts, she wondered how Gigi was. She wondered where she went until she realized that in all likelihood, her girlfriend was at Nicky’s downtown apartment. She didn’t want to know or imagine anything else to torture herself over. Slowly but surely she dragged herself up the stairs and sank into her now too big bed. Laying in the middle of it felt foreign and wrong. She should be on the left with Gigi spooning her from the right, but she wasn’t. Instead what held her was coldness and a sense of loss so deep that she was sure it would scar somehow. 

And to think. All this because of a pack of cigarettes.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos and constructive criticism only because I’ll cry are all very welcome! Validation fuels me to write


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